Double Trouble
by stardust2002
Summary: This is Lee's musings on his changing relationship with Kara and Dee. Set just after 'Flight of the Phoenix'. First person POV.


Double Trouble

This is set just after ' Flight of the Phoenix' and is Lee's thoughts regarding his encounters with Kara and Dee. First Person POV.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

Frak! I nearly kissed Kara _again!_ Our faces were only inches apart and I felt this insane desire to reach over and lick her sweaty face and kiss her passionately. What's come over me lately? It was at the firing range for frak's sake - not exactly a romantic place for those kinds of thoughts! I was being a bit of an asshole - not unusual lately - I just don't seem to care what people think about me anymore. And well, truth be told, Kara really brings out the worst in me anyway, but she took it, and returned it, flirting in her usual obvious way.

She did have a point though, everyone is too negative about the Chief's big project, myself included. I was a trifle surprised though - Kara's probably one of the most cynical people I know, and _she's_ the only one supporting it.

But when she volunteered to _fly _it, something stirred inside me - fear and desire. I'm scared to death that rickety old bucket of bolts will explode and kill her, but the fact that she's willing to take the challenge - risks notwithstanding - it makes me see her in a much more ... sensual light. Sometimes I really don't understand her, or my feelings for her.

I thought we were just friends. Friends who flirted with each other, but that's Kara's way - she flirts with most men - but somehow things are changing. At least, for me anyway. I kissed her, told her I love her - a bold move - or perhaps a stupid one, but she hasn't acknowledged it, other than the initial teasing.

Do I _really_ love her? Well, the short answer is yes, but the better question is, am I _in love_ with her? I don't know. She's not really my type - I've always prefered quieter, more feminine women, but there's something about Kara that pulls me in against my will. It's like a moth to the flame - I know it's destructive but I just can't help myself. She's not what one would call traditionally 'pretty', and she's definitely _not _ a lady, in the old-fashioned sense of the word, but she has an attractiveness and sexiness that no man fails to notice. Especially not me, as she's always right there in my face! Maybe I should just blame the whole thing on the lack of oxygen.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

What happened? One minute Dee and I were friends - not even, really - more like acquaintances who work together, and suddenly I have no idea what we are or what happened.

I felt a spark of attraction when I had her in my arms in the hand-to-hand combat training class, but she's an attractive woman, and it's been a long time since I've been with anyone ...

I didn't really think twice about it until the tables were turned and she had me under her control. The sudden electricity I felt when she touched me was almost frightening. It caused me to lose my concentration for a split second, and she took full advantage of that to throw me to the ground and pin me. It wasn't till she was lying on top of me, nose to nose, that I realized she felt it too. The surprise was evident in her eyes. Such intensely green eyes. Not unlike someone else's I know of, but also completely different. The look of defiance is missing.

The moment ended as quickly as it had begun as Billy knocked on the door and Dee leapt off me like a lover caught in a secret tryst. I felt that way too, despite the audience we had. As I watched her lean up to hug him and walk away with him, I felt a surprising pang of jealousy. Get a grip Lee - it was just a moment, it didn't mean anything!

But the moment remained with me for a long time. Every so often I'd think of it and I swear I blushed, even though no one was watching. I've got to convince myself to stop acting like a hormone-crazed teenager. Does she like me, or doesn't she ... does she like me or doesn't she ... How stupid can one man be?

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

I thought I was confused before but now ... Obviously that 'moment' with Dee was more than just a moment. It's happened again and the awkwardness of the situation is frustrating me to no end. I feel embarrassed to be with her, like we're sharing some sinful secret, but whenever I'm with her I feel the need to be closer. Close enough to touch ... almost.

Kara and I were having one of _our _ moments - the banter, teasing, arguing thing we always do, and suddenly Dee popped out from under the Chief's ship and interrupted it. My heart started to pound in nervousness and I felt that crazy desire to be with her again, but somewhere deep inside a sense of guilt and shame began to grow. In a sense, I was cheating on Kara. Not that we've ever _had _ anything together, but somehow our relationship goes deeper than two friends who tease and flirt harmlessly. I feel like I _belong _ to Kara, like she owns me, not that she's ever _said _so in so many words, but I've always had the feeling that if I ever got involved with another woman, she'd feel betrayed and hurt. As indeed I did, when I found out she'd slept with Baltar.

How frakked up can we possibly be? To the rest of the ship we must be an incomprehensible pair. No wonder the only person crazy enough to get involved in our lives is Dr. Baltar. If Dee is smart, she'll stick to Billy and not join in our insanity.

But the truth is, I want her to.

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

I can't believe I let her do this. I'm the CAG for frak's sake! _I _make the rules, not the almighty, stubborn Starbuck. But no, she decided she was going to fly the damned thing and Kara is about as unstoppable as a hurricane in full force.

The moment I saw the Blackbird twisting dangerously around, that was it. I began to panic. I tried to hold it together, and did a reasonably decent job I think, until she vanished. Damn stealth ship - what the hell was Helo thinking when he suggested carbon composite? It was a great idea in theory, having a stealth ship, but the moment Kara disappeared I cursed him for ever thinking of it.

If I ever lost her ... Well thank the gods I didn't. But the panic hit me full-blown then and though I knew all of CIC, and the rest of Galactica who were patched in so the people who made the frakking thing could hear the maiden voyage could hear me, I couldn't hide the fear I felt. I'm sure every soul on that ship suddenly knew how I felt about her. If they hadn't already figured it out, that is.

She got the better of me though, as usual, and we flew back home together, nose to hose. This is it - where Kara and I belong together, where we can be nose to nose and dance romantically together with nothing coming between us. But is that meant to be for us _out _of the skies as well? I wish I knew.

Somehow I have the feeling that in order to be with one of them, I have to let go of the other. But I don't want to - I want both of them in my life, no matter how complicated it gets. I just hope I don't end up hurting anyone in the process. Especially myself. I have a feeling however, that that's a vain hope.


End file.
